A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.” Mini Miltia cheats
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick, “What school?”
I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere.
Important note from a car manual:
Backing rapidly at a tree significantly reduces your trunk space.
Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.
Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name’s day Your Holiness! - Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict? - Bishop: It is the 16th, though.
. After finding her boyfriend: So what if he is not loving me unconditional, I understand & love him anyway So what if he is sometimes makes me sad, that is ok, still he is the best for me! So what if he is not fully understanding me, I will understand him So what if he is not perfect, I am not perfect too!
He told me "Never say never!" But he just said never....twice?
The Earth without the "art" part is just "Eh". and the Pleasure without the "plea" part is ....
Birdy birdy in the sky Dropped a poopy in my eyes, I do not worry I do not cry I am just happy that cows don't fly!
Finding you was not easy at all
but it sure was worth the search! Finally something worth it!! Love You!
Exams are like girl friends - difficult 2 understand - too many questions - more explanations are needed And results are most of the time failure..
Never miss an opportunity to say "I love you" to someone you really really like say it directly or indirectly, coz it is not everyday you will meet the person who has the magic power to let you fall in love with. Good Luck with finding the right person.
Kiss Is The Key Of Love, Love Is The Lock Of Marriage, Marriage Is The Box Of Children, And too many Children means more Problem for the world So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while.
A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road, He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM.
Son: mom, when I was on the bus with my father this morning, he told me 2 give up my seat 2 a lady. Mother: Well, you have done the right thing son. Son: But mother, I was sitting on my father's lap. Mother: Whaaatttt!!!!!??
Have you ever thought that tears are more precious than Smiles ? You may smile for anyone, but you would not cry for any one unless that person really touched your heart.
Good Friends; Real friends are those who care without hesitation, who remember you without limitation, who trustful without suspicion, and who love even without communication. .............. Fake friends; Laugh/mad on you without real reasons, never remember you unless they need/use you, never around when you need them. .............. So be careful how to choose your friends and how to plan your future. Good Luck. Man to a Lady In a Crowded mall: I have Lost My Wife, Will you Please talk to Me for A second Lady: why? Man: because whenever I Talk to Ladies She Appears From nowhere like a ghost.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was: You will never ever find anyone like me again in your life! I am thinking, "I should hope not! If I do not want you, why would I want someone like you.
Father : Son, what do you want for your birthday? Son : Not that much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
When I die, I want 2 die peacefully like my Grandfather did in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car